I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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