Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
