O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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