I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
