I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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