brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
