i just wanna soil my oats bro
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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