Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
