I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize