Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
