It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
