guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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