Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
