please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Dick very happy bro
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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