i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
