I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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