you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
