haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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