I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
this will be a night to untag.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
