Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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