Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
