apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
