she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
