We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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