If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
