I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
