The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
