have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I understand Curling. That high.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
