I think i peed on brittanys purse
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he shaved USA in his pubs
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize