Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
