we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
