hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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