Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
