Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Come see our sink grown plant.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i out mim tonsoeep
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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