I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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