Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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