...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
