like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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