This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
