you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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