I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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