I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
