At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
