I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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