Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you win again, gameday.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
