The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
