don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
