Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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