i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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