What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
