It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
