He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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