i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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