and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
