that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
