Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Randomize
