i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
