Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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