never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
