I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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