ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
one might say we're banned from that church
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
