Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
