You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
