sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
