My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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