I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
